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Condiments

- elaine - Tuesday, January 17th, 2006 : goo

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yesterday i went to a funeral. today i am sitting in a waiting for steak pie. banal things seem at the same time extra banal with banal topping, and exquisitely super real, moving, and human. i appreciate the heightened senses, while i feel sad for their origin.

This article has been viewed 2760 times in the last 3 years


Jamie: 17th Jan 2006 - 16:43 GMT

this post made me hungry, though i'm quite sure this wasn't your intention

Peter: 17th Jan 2006 - 16:44 GMT

an ashtray in a restaurant... i havent seen that in ages.

Jamie: 17th Jan 2006 - 16:45 GMT

that's what you get for living in a totalitarian dictatorship peter. best friendly.

Catherine Penfold-Waxman: 17th Jan 2006 - 16:50 GMT

The ashtray is trying to get in to the inner circle of condiments.
"But the meal isn't complete without a cigarette," the ashtray whined.
The condiments erupted with fury.
"Away with you, foul creature! We bring out the taste of food. You mask it, destroyer of tastebuds." The salt accused.
“You may satisfy hunger. But they are addicted to me,” said the ashtray smugly. It always had the last word.

elaine: 17th Jan 2006 - 17:02 GMT

well, it's not so much about intention. i was very hungry and had no food at home, and i thought 'let me try this cafe then' - inspired as i was by the words 'steak pie' on the specials board. anyway, i sat around playing w my camera. if i wasn't so hungry i would have taken a photo of my food. that would have been a yummy pic to the hungry, except peter

elaine: 17th Jan 2006 - 17:03 GMT

the sugar was saying nothing (it being the crack cocaine of foods)

haiku: 17th Jan 2006 - 17:04 GMT

peter likes his green
meat is really not his bag
vegetarian

jack: 17th Jan 2006 - 17:11 GMT

ketchup: that may be true ashtray but we have your number, how about, 'patch', ring a bell!
mustard: heh heh, yeah ashtray, your days are numbered. besides, the mayor may pull a bloomberg and pass a law. NO SMOKING ANYWHERE.
ashtray: now wait a second you two. dont you realize that i'am a habit.
ketchup: oh shutup you guys, theres a customer coming to the table. lets see what they do.
elaine: oh brad, lets sit over here.
brad: ok honey but i insist i pay for the meal.
elaine: oh brad, ok. since last night how can i refuse you anything my darling.
brad: i know baby, last night was great. we need some more time for ourselves. got to get away from the job for awhile. what about a holiday?
(ok catherine take it away, since you started this)

Jamie: 17th Jan 2006 - 17:13 GMT

I have the strongest urge to go get pizza on my way home tonight. having not eaten properly in several days, and what with the curry burgers and all, i'm starting to feel, well, hungry i guess. If someone could paypal me about a fiver that'd be great. thanks.

Catherine Penfold-Waxman: 17th Jan 2006 - 17:33 GMT

Elaine says, "Playing Scabble was fun last night, but don't let it go to your head. Hey listen, the condiments are talking."
"Hi there!" Piped up the usually quiet brown sauce, "You should have the steak pie or a curry burger."
"Yeah, and then have some ice cream," whispered the sugar, transparently.

Catherine Penfold-Waxman: 17th Jan 2006 - 17:34 GMT

I love the haiku, Haiku, by the way.

haiku: 17th Jan 2006 - 17:37 GMT

thankyou very much
with my rhymes i aim to please
foxy girls in hats

Peter: 17th Jan 2006 - 18:22 GMT

someone tell me what the green and brown containers hold. pickle relish and steak sauce?

Peter: 17th Jan 2006 - 18:30 GMT

last night, i cooked s. they were superlative. and frankly, im glad that restaurants are smokefree, i guess... i just wish people could choose do to that on their own, instead of being compelled by the state.

give a toss
smeared down with sauce
, dont get lost!

Catherine Penfold-Waxman: 17th Jan 2006 - 20:58 GMT

Nice one, Peter! That's the first www-linked haiku I've ever seen.

Jamie: 18th Jan 2006 - 10:08 GMT

Peter: The brown bottle is brown sauce, a malt vinegar base blended with fruit and spices. and as for the green, i take it you mean the one behind the sugar. I would imagine it's just vinegar.

is a condiment popular in the . There exist a number of different brands and generic versions, of which HP Sauce is the best known. All feature a malt vinegar base blended with fruit and spices.

Brown sauce is usually eaten as an adjunct to hot or cold savoury food, or used as an ingredient in soups or stews. Around a combination of spirit vinegar and brown sauce, known simply as "sauce" or "chippie sauce", is popular on fish and .

Catherine Penfold-Waxman: 18th Jan 2006 - 15:57 GMT

Peter, brown sauce is very similar to A1 Steak Sauce.

jack: 24th Jan 2006 - 22:28 GMT

oh no sugar, its too fattenning. i like a-1 sauce.
a-1 are you kidding? a good italian red gravy would go great on a couple of fried eggs.

grange: Thats one clean place ! WOW.

anon (user-119ab66.biz.mindspring.com): 19th May 2006 - 14:14 GMT

Thanks for this glimpse of London...who cares if ir rains 24/7? The city inspires, with or without tomato sauce... and fags. Every best from an Anglophile. (Thanks Lindeena, for the link!)

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